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your-methamphetamine

Artist | Student | Literature

y-m. 18. 5'7". I mostly like Andrew McMahon, Doctor Who, trees and faded things. pre-med slam poet. bibliophile. still getting used to these- legs, hands, arms, marrow. mastering the art of being left behind. forgetful. fairly human.

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can't stand here in a patch of four leaf clovers

Journal Entry: Wed Apr 16, 2014, 4:01 PM
you don't want to be here in the future
so you say
the present's just a pleasant
interruption to the past


it is 3 am, it's the night of my last school event and i'm sitting here listening to something corporate, feeling more human than i ever have.

college is officially over and i can't quite make it corporeal enough to knot my stomach yet. i am absolutely out of time and i'm hanging on to my last hopes of passing my exams with dignity. it's not as funny as i thought. i actually thought i'd be past this stage than letting last year repeating itself.

here are twenty things about me that i can somehow only think of at this ungodly hour. yes, no one asked me because y'all hate me...or just keep me out of the loop.

1. i am absolutely in love with House M.D, Doctor Who, Glee and Skins UK. maybe it's my inner child and/or pervert coming out but i will literally fight people to defend this love of mine. (i probably won't, pretty fuck-deficit as of late)

2. i love reading more than i like music. and i really love the music i listen to.

3. i went through an 'emo' phase in my freshman year of high school. it didn't last very long. i was tormented for being different.

4. considering where i'm from, i am very different. not unique, just different in the most unappreciative connotation of the word.

5. i have dyed my hair three times. the first, i bleached it entirely and got blue streaks (after the emo phase), the second, it was ombre-ish, red. the third, i got purple highlights.

6. due to self-image problems, i have never let my hair grow more than shoulder-length. i'm hoping i can overcome this soon.

7. i am very proud of my religion.

8. the only art form i've ever felt that didn't frown at me for trying my hand at, is spoken word/slam poetry. the warmth i feel just thinking about how much i've changed since i've discovered it is indescribable.

9. i've been abused extensively sexually for a total of four years by different people.

10. i've never been diagnosed with anything psychological except my skin condition because my parents have seen me weather things i wasn't supposed to so they believe i can take on anything.

11. i don't agree. (they have always done more than i could ever ask for. and i hate myself for not figuring it out sooner.)

12. i have never been "pursued". a total of two guys have ever really shown interest in me and i feel like that's pretty pitiful. i'm not beautiful in the appreciative sense of the word, just the kind that you accept and learn to deal with. the subtle kind that takes way too long to accept.

13. my boyfriend and friends (all two of them) are the only ones i've believed when they call me beautiful.

14. i'm humble to the point of being self-deprecate and it makes me feel safe.

15. i've been published twice before, and been interviewed by a Venezuelan radio station at a time when my writing was suckling. i was given an excellent opportunity at the absolute worst time for my writing.

16. i'm deeply unhappy with the people around me.

17. i am actually very opinionated but the thought of defending myself to horrible people is so terrifying that i rarely stand up for things i believe in. (where i'm from, it's better to stay quiet; being brave usually results in death)

18. this is the most honest i've been about myself for a very long time.

19. my tolerance and patience is often endless. so when i explode, it actually is because too much has happened.

20. i've been in love with two people in my life; i chose very wisely. <3






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:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr 19 hours ago  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle: :worship:
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Apr 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I had a mini-heart attack when I saw you had favorited.

Thank you! :squee: How's your day?
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(1 Reply)
:iconsugar-coatedinsanity:
sugar-coatedinsanity Apr 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

GAHH. I'M SO GAY! .-. :iconnomglompplz:
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(1 Reply)
:iconsugar-coatedinsanity:
sugar-coatedinsanity Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

i made you a drawing! ._.
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(1 Reply)
:iconpuzzledheartbox:
After having discovered your soundcloud, you've officially won me over.
:+devwatch: Your poetry recitals are downright beautiful and heartbreaking.
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(1 Reply)
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:icontime-signature:
Time-Signature Mar 22, 2014  Student General Artist
Oh shoot did I miss my favorite dA poet's birthday?  I'm so sorry, happy very very late birthday! 
And "time-spared drawers of dreams" still ranks first in my favorite poems list - I haven't found anything better.  :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Mar 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Happy extremely late birthday. :salute: I don't know why I am wishing you when your bday has passed but ah well :happybounce:
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(1 Reply) (1 Reply)
:iconhumilian:
humilian Mar 14, 2014  New member
Hey Roojer.
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