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the reasons I keep going back to this pen, paper, typewriter. :heart:

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with so much love.


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your-methamphetamine
sometimes girl.
Artist | Student | Literature
10011 | poet | infj | med student | wanderlust-bitten | yugen-driven | eternally unrested | music-ventilated | forgetful | human.

(still learning to be softer.)

I fancy myself a youth slam poet, guilty of falling in love with the unfamiliar. I have been published over at The Missing Slate, Pankhearst, Up The Staircase Quarterly and cahoodaloodaling, which I now read for. my first spoken word album, the articulation of my vertebrae is now available for download on my bandcamp! go get your copy!

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there has been a poem stuck between my molars
from the night before I decided the hands of my wrist-watch
needed someone better to wait for. there wasn't one metaphor
for time I missed with us and I know you asked the half
a century worth of summer alcohol in your veins this
more times than I did;


"you don't get to hurt over dumping a year of alienation
in one fight he never saw coming," but you see, now
the backs of my hands don't hurt with morning sickness.
I don't fake spasms in my nerve endings louder
than my mind's own dark places; I have learned to say no
after swallowing that I had to deny you so many things
you asked for well before you earned right to them. for starters,


i. you did not earn the glorious, then-private hourglass
of my body. you begged with the reserved desperate
in your sly grin and showed off the glisten of my virgin skin
on deceiving pixels.  

in your virtual hands, my body felt limp-- a bottom-heavy
chalice of airless vessels.


ii. you did not earn the love of my god you exhausted right
out these butterfly-chambers. you exhumed my prayers
from the peace of your eyelids and threw it out to sea,
thinking a calypso will blow back to its chrysalis,
shores away.


iii. you did not earn the first honest crack
in my fetal curve at night.


iv. you did not earn the right to call me beautiful when you saw me
undress for the first time. the softness of my face was relevant,
my eyes a piercing control.


v. you did not earn my coffee-black bitter
etched in every memory I once laced with fondness.

instead you earned your place in my loathe for islands,
for a storm-story once seen from every vantage point to make
sense to my siren tail.

your words were once the currents in my heart-- without
direction and so minute, unaware of where they could be
electrocuted into life; at the very least, I am glad
that has not changed.

I am glad that you haven't written one true eviction
since we parted our personal penchants. I am glad the curiosity
you nestled in your worry-lines found a quiet project to work
through. there is not one concrete blame in my pocket,
collecting dust on the cold war I wage against you
(nearly) everyday.

in the investment of our lives, I am glad mine
was never set in stone and my father leaving, carved
you uneasy; you were the only man I prayed
for to leave me without pain. isn't it curious
how god listened so carefully
to my only insincere prayer?

alhumdulillah

pulling your weight is no easy chore and I am sure
that you dropped mine under your rugs at the earliest.
you were my loveliest mistake till you became my only;
that is not set to change.

subhanallah







assembly for pompeii
i placed a violent bet,
you only waged a war.


-- Aug. 11th '15.

i know this could use winding down but it's all relevant. i'm risking posting bad art.
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first and foremost, I hope all of you are well and healthy and happy and fulfilled and warm.

ii. there are still people who have not received a physical copy of my spoken word album, and I'm terribly sorry. if you're still interested in receiving this, please note me your addresses. like before, you don't have to pay a cent and this time around, I'm working on bettering the quality of the tracks so there's that to lure you into wanting it again.

let me know so I can rectify this injustice immediately :heart:

iii.
 11855884 10203567703187774 2082744685356158945 N by your-methamphetamine
slipcast-chrysalism is the bestestest person in the world.

iv. first year is almost over and I need so, so many prayers and kindnesses for the huge exams I have coming up. it's been very tough and very enlightening and when I felt like I learned I skipped steps. so much has changed but the idiocy and cruelty of some have not. I'm in a better place.

v. everything is going to be okay.
sundresspublications.wordpress…

I got asked to talk about my favorite book and magic happened. 

try not to give up on me I couldn't seem to shut up about it. 

:peace: :heart:
Answers

please don't mind how dead i look
or mind it

thank you again :heart:
stay safe and well

- Orooj
or can I still ask you guys to ask me questions you may have for writer-me or person-me that I can answer in a video?

(I'll keep this up and if I get five questions at least, I'll make a video answering them! or get embarrassed and delete this off the face of this planet)

hope you're all fantastic :heart:

:peace:

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:iconthe-solimnludic:
the-solimnludic Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Hi there! I know this is kind of random, but I was looking through my favorites for a song that either you or Gravity posted (I'm pretty sure in a journal or something). ...I don't really remember what it was about, just spoken word, this guy rapping about a girl with some beautiful music playing in the background. It was a link to another website, I'm pretty sure. Sorry if that doesn't narrow it lot, but I was just wondering if you'd remember.
I just remember that I really liked it and would love to hear it again.

Sorry for bothering you...have a lovely day and take care, alright? :heart:
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(1 Reply)
:iconroylapost:
roylapost Featured By Owner May 5, 2015
Missing you SOOOOOOOOOO much.
Reply
:icondragonlover84:
Dragonlover84 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I got here from another deviant, fuzzyhoser. From a link I heard your beautiful spoken poetry. Milady, you have a wonderful talent for the written word, and I am most pleased to become a watcher. I look forward to more of what is to come as I wander through your gallery. :) :heart:
Reply
:iconladylincoln:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Happy birthday :heart:
Reply
:iconshoeborn:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2015  Student General Artist
Happy birthday! I love your poetry, especially the albums you put out. Thank you for sharing your words with us.
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