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the reasons I keep going back to this pen, paper, typewriter. :heart:

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with so much love.


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sometimes girl.
Artist | Student | Literature
10011 | poet | infj | med student | wanderlust-bitten | yugen-driven | eternally unrested | music-ventilated | forgetful | human.

(still learning to be softer.)

I fancy myself a youth slam poet, guilty of falling in love with the unfamiliar. I have been published over at The Missing Slate, Pankhearst, Up The Staircase Quarterly and cahoodaloodaling, which I now read for. my first spoken word album, the articulation of my vertebrae is now available for download on my bandcamp! go get your copy!



stolen from 0hgravity 

What's the story behind it?

"You can tell a lot about a person by what they write, but there are lots of other ways to get an idea of who they are. What they wear; what they read; what their room looks like; what posters they hang on their walls; what they keep in their bedside drawer. If you're like me, bored with answering the same questions, then feel free to jump in and show your watchers who you are in a different way. :D (Big Grin)"
- words from SilverInkblot, the meme's creator

now, what do we do?

Bullet; Pink Post a selfie.
Bullet; Pink Post a photo of your bed.
Bullet; Pink Post a photo of your bookshelf.
Bullet; Pink Post a photo of one of your more unusual possessions.
Bullet; Pink Post a photo of a favorite accessory you love to wear.
Bullet; Pink Post a photo of something you've had since childhood.
Bullet; Pink Post a photo of your pet(s).
Bullet; Pink Post a photo of your neighborhood.
Bullet; Pink Post a photo of your closet.
Bullet; Pink Post a photo of your shoes.
Bullet; Blue a short description after each photo would be sweet. 

2015-06-27 11.43.28 1 by your-methamphetamine

a selfie

yes, yes that's a filter but I don't like my face today so this goes.

Img 20150627 205058 by your-methamphetamine

a photo of your bed
yes, my mother forced me to clean it up today or else it's a gargantuan mess.

Snapchat-2776021155649112847 by your-methamphetamine

a photo of your bookshelf
my favourite picture of anything to date.

Img 20150627 205145 by your-methamphetamine

a photo of your more unusual possessions
my sister loves me more than anything in the world. she got me this out of the blue, this one day i wasn't feeling my best. it's full of tiny things she loves about me. she's the best. 

Img 20150627 205234 by your-methamphetamine

a photo of a favorite accessory you love to wear
my mom got me this and i haven't taken it off since she did.

Img 20150627 205521 by your-methamphetamine

 a photo of something you've had since childhood
a letter my grandfather sent me after i sent him one for a second grade assignment. my companion on my worst days. he died six years ago.

a photo of your pet(s)
a parrot i've had for as long as i can remember. he moves too much :(

Crop 20150627 210441 by your-methamphetamine

a photo of your neighborhood
it's dark out but this will do. this is (part of) the view from my family's farmhouse. beautiful, beautiful place.

Img 20150627 205704 by your-methamphetamine

a photo of your closet
0hgravity understands my need for colors.

Img 20150627 205838 by your-methamphetamine

a photo of your shoes
this is literally one of four shelves. this is my casual everyday set. I have a lot of nude shades...

I tag everyone who wants to! :D
I heard the first sound of morning
in the crack of my wrist--
stretching its vine-like hands and
shrugging shoulders. these eyes were still
crossed with Mary Jane dust
and nightmares about shady uncles
when amnesia began to wear off

and the sounds all echoing before,
dulled to an audio ache. there you are,
laying akimbo almost
proud in your clueless sleep-driven
poses smelling like day-old love making
and stress leaving for the night.

there you are, one part peace, ten parts
honesty-- your fingers rolled to hold
the contours of my own. there you are,
paper-lover, enveloping my scissor form
bleeding and smiling all the same.
how i imagine paper abstains
FuzzyHoser fixed it and loves me so here.
hasn't it?

i hope life is kind to you. i hope you're breathing easier.

despite all my efforts, med school has taken up all of my time and though i'm up to here with it, i wouldn't choose anything else over it. 

i'm relearning how to love myself. sitting straighter. writing like crazy. talking more. loving more appropriately (and failing). reading. drawing. 

a little over six months ago, i was asked to read for which i've fallen madly in love with. (i even reviewed a book!) i made friends and lost them. i believed in people so much and replaced it with more faith in myself. i wrote everyday for nearly a hundred days, even though i've exhausted my words. 

i miss the people here but so many of you are still in my life it's hard to miss this place properly. i don't share my work as often and it's very, very rare to come up with something worth sharing but it's 3 am and i am happy and life is good and i'm glad to be alive. 

signed up for a slam competition in August. pumped. 

made another album. not as proud of it but i can say i've made two. 

eh, just letting you all know even sad fucks like me can become healthy and happy for prolonged periods of time. 

i have no idea how to end this journal except with Thomas Harris is life and that orchestral chillstep is my saving grace. <3
let's hear the ocean die,
our resonance is excellent.
we reiterate gravity's victory
at the shapeless currents
of the wild.

our insecurities cannot be paved
by its rage up in the mountains.
we only mock with little minds
and littler goals: we only know
how to scream louder
than a crashing wave while we
stand knee-deep on the ground
they cleared.
not much has changed;
I still listen to the red-lipped boy
frightened back to the closet
passing comfort under my door
to every disarray he left
for dead

I still close my eyes in winter
mornings, hoping the sun warms
my breath and melts
the dewy tears from the nights

don't worry, love
not much has changed;
I still listen to a thousand brittle piano keys
breaking into a sinus rhythm
and blasphemous hymns
I still sing along
and repent

I still think of strangers sweating
underneath me
I still hope no one knows
I still
hold my breath till it hurts
more than the crunched cluster
of pain he left

I don't hurt over wonderland
and fucking him to submission
I don't have friends the way
I used to
I don't tear up at the thought of god
even if I secretly hope he finds
it in him to love me still

but I still wish on grains of sand
till they are washed away to silt
and find life within their centers

I still write to ventilate
and smile to validate
the wrong done unto me
I still dance harder than the sleep
begging in my bones
I still dance

I still dream

I still

dear me,
not much has changed:

don't worry.
to the girl still kneeing her eyes
i started this writing challenge where i force myself to write something everyday and today's day 34 and i'm feeling pretty cool about that. 

thank you for any feedback you have. :heart:

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Add a Comment:
the-solimnludic Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Hi there! I know this is kind of random, but I was looking through my favorites for a song that either you or Gravity posted (I'm pretty sure in a journal or something). ...I don't really remember what it was about, just spoken word, this guy rapping about a girl with some beautiful music playing in the background. It was a link to another website, I'm pretty sure. Sorry if that doesn't narrow it lot, but I was just wondering if you'd remember.
I just remember that I really liked it and would love to hear it again.

Sorry for bothering you...have a lovely day and take care, alright? :heart:
(1 Reply)
roylapost Featured By Owner May 5, 2015
Missing you SOOOOOOOOOO much.
Dragonlover84 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I got here from another deviant, fuzzyhoser. From a link I heard your beautiful spoken poetry. Milady, you have a wonderful talent for the written word, and I am most pleased to become a watcher. I look forward to more of what is to come as I wander through your gallery. :) :heart:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Happy birthday :heart:
Shoeborn Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2015  Student General Artist
Happy birthday! I love your poetry, especially the albums you put out. Thank you for sharing your words with us.
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