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1. I wish
this was for you.

2. my journal pages - the
brown one with all our monologues -
were jarred with hollow vows of
last poems of
loving me
loving me
loving me;
letting you slip into a coma
of bad memories, watching you
fall to your death off
a cascading cliff of disease
and dis ease.
it was never
easy for me
either.

3. there's a reason I ask
whether you're grey
(dark white, elusively black, in between)
or blue (behind the clouds, under wave-foam,
whateverthefuck runs through the back of my
palms); I'd rather have
you
than the arms
that once held you half-
heartedly. you had always been
my harmony and I
would have killed
to have been yours.

4. it could never have been just me, the way
it could never have been just
her.

5. disasters are not beautiful,
but how is it that you
managed to make my inner linings
converge into bows
and explode into wings the very
night you decided to rebuild your walls
to a lower height?

6. I wish this wasn't
about you.

7. I wish every part of me
and my sickly, spineless-book self
had been about you.

8. you have always been
everything about
me.
I can only write shitty lists now.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconslipcast-chrysalism:
slipcast-chrysalism Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This my love, is anything but shitty. I can assure you of that. This is amazing. -heads to save it in her notes-
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Student Writer
I love you. :tighthug:
Reply
:iconslipcast-chrysalism:
slipcast-chrysalism Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I love you more. :glomp:
Reply
:iconassheglows:
AsSheGlows Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013   Writer
"you had always been 
my harmony and I
would have killed
to have been yours."
Go ahead, rip my heart out. It's not like I need it or anything ;)
This really hit home with me. :heart:
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Student Writer
*fixes your heart*
thank you, love :heart:
Reply
:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is so wonderfully written, with such a  strong voice.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Student Writer
<3 I'm really touched you think so
Reply
:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconbarbzzp:
barbzzp Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Student Writer
i love this .
this is fantastic! :)
and i specif. love this part:

(behind the clouds, under wave-foam,
whateverthefuck runs through the back of my
palms)

you're really amazing and i like your brand of poetry- whatever you may call it.. :)
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2013  Student Writer
thank you so much! :blushes: I really appreciate it :hug:
Reply
:iconbarbzzp:
barbzzp Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
you're welcome. i love your works! Heart Love 
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I was caught by this piece the moment I finished reading the second point.

To tell you the truth, I don't have anything in particular to say about how I felt with this piece, other than it being something... strongly written. I wound up reading it two times, and then I made a recording, while reciting this poem.

But it felt good reciting this poem. Well written. Poem well written.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Student Writer
I'd love to hear the reading.

thank you ever so much. <3
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
 soundcloud.com/shehroze-ameen/…

I don't know if you'll like it or not. I'm hoping you do... Cheers...
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Student Writer
it's an honor itself, thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
(smile) (blush) honestly... you think it was good...
Reply
:iconkissthesunrise:
KissTheSunrise Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013
" it could never have been just me, the way
it could never have been just
her."

Straight to my heart they struck, painfully. 
Stop writing my heart beats.
ILY  :heart:
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Student Writer
I would if I could <3

(always sending you my love)
Reply
:iconkissthesunrise:
KissTheSunrise Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013
I knew that but had to say it.

Aww.. ty you're a sweetheart. <3
(all mine to you also)
Reply
:iconlinenandlicorice:
linenandlicorice Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
dis ease
:heart:
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Student Writer
:heart::heart::heart:
Reply
:iconlavenderl:
lavenderl Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Lovely, you inspire me.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Student Writer
wow, thank you so much :blushes:
Reply
:iconlavenderl:
lavenderl Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's my pleasure. ^^
Reply
:icontayaiv:
tayaiv Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
You are a genius. I'm so tempted to go through your gallery and read all of your words. Thank you for this!
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Student Writer
I would be touched :heart: thank you! <3
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Student Writer
:cries:
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Student Writer
noooo :tighthug:
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Student Writer
:iconihugyouplz:
Reply
:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
this is just absolutely lovely, you are fantastic <3 there's always this sort of air about your words, i don't know how to explain it, but it's just wonderfully perfect and it never fails to take my breath away c:
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Student Writer
oh, you're too kind <3 thank you!
Reply
:iconadrolyn:
Adrolyn Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist

Your lists

are yet

my wonder

Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Student Writer
<3
Reply
:iconinverted-shadows:
Inverted-Shadows Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I wish I could be the one to catch you every time you fell and that I always carried a spare raft with me for every time the waves would take you under, but when the juries out to get you you can only play on the defense wishing you could be on front lines in the region that borders your happiness and everything that would dare wish to take that away. Honey your greatest enemy is that which is most familiar to you and not some foreign invader but reflection along the waves. Learn to love yourself Cass and everything else will fall into place.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Student Writer
though that's an important lesson, knowing my place and where this came from, I'll have to say this lesson doesn't apply here. you can love yourself as much as you want but at some point, when the bs brims and comes crawling through the door, owning yourself feels a lot like violating yourself. things don't fall into place so easily.

(you put it beautifully :heart:)
Reply
:iconinverted-shadows:
Inverted-Shadows Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
The reason is when you have enough self-love (not to be confused with pleasure but love) no matter what BS comes crawling through some shit clogged sewers you'll always have a raft to keep you floating above the stress or sadness. Its something learned just like everything else, its also something you have to build and put effort in to get better at just like anything else. ┐Capisce? Anyways its definitely a skill worth working for because improve here and then improve there.

(thank you, your writings are beautiful :heart:)
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Student Writer
I just disagree. thank you <3
Reply
:iconinverted-shadows:
Inverted-Shadows Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Of course we each choose our own paths. Good luck to you on whatever journey you are on <3
Reply
:iconkaemarettalanoir:
KaemarettaLaNoir Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Shitty lists? No. The most honest sort of lying? Yes. Poetry, in my eyes, is an artistic, beautiful way to tell lies (can anything ever truly be honest?) and you have perfected the art in a way that even those who are not poets, those who speak in clear lines instead of tangled webs of images, even they can relate. Your poetry is amazing. And this is much more than a "shitty list".
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Student Writer
you are far too kind and I'm touched that you think so. :heart:
Reply
:iconkaemarettalanoir:
KaemarettaLaNoir Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I added you to my watch because I love your poetry, I read almost all of it :) I think you ought to know that people appreciate your work, even if you don't think much of it :)
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Student Writer
you're far too kind :heart:
Reply
:iconroylapost:
roylapost Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013
"a cascading cliff of disease
and dis ease." - bloody briliant.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Student Writer
:blushes:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I really love this parenthetical

 (behind the clouds, under wave-foam, 
whateverthefuck runs through the back of my
palms)

because that turn in the middle. it's like you threw down a painting.  
it just made a really interesting visual in my head.

nothing shitty about this.

dis ease. I liked that too.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Student Writer
sorry, fuck. -.-
thank you for liking and the favourite :hug:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
haha, no worries :hug:
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Student Writer
oh my god, I was thinking of dropping a freshly painted canvas when I wrote that.

it just feels like it.

(credit goes to my biology teacher. he's crazy.)
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
woah. that's so awesome.

I know but it's not.

(aren't they all. I think they are on some level or another.)
Reply
:iconempty-lungs:
empty-lungs Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
lists are cool, don't diss :P

seriously though
this is lovely and relevant and really just so achingly relatable :heart:
Reply
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