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the world is in the palm
of my hand when I
wake up next
to your cream-white skin
and bones - they’re
both the same color now
and I don’t know
whether to be proud or
devastated
that in spite of the past
biting and writhing its
limping way back to you,
you’re still in my bed,
breathing and more
and though you could be smiling
you’re still holding your
stomach, because
it’s still there.


you’re still here.


the sky maps itself in the irises
of your muddy eyes when I
find you talking about
licking dreams and dust off
an acceptance letter to
Hopkins -
you told me that only
in the crevasses
of an ill-tempered blackhole’s eyes
would you find enough
patience to
end yourself without
ending the world.
but you would end me,
you did end me the day
you told me your body was
not a temple - mine or yours -
and that no purge
would be bloody
enough to make you stop
exhuming star
corpses from your very lips.


the heart of the Sandman rests
between your beaten
lungs when you breathe "no"'s
to my "the sun woke up today because you did"'s, and it
wouldn’t be enough,
why would it be enough?
moments you spend wishing
that your minute-friends would
tattoo semi-colons
on their
wrists like you have,
you forgot
that they slowed down the minute
you told them;
they breathed
and ate,
even if it was just for today.


just eat for today.


the wind in Bora-Bora blows
in your sinews, your skin
and bones are my
only refuge, even if you forget
my hand stroking yours
when you sleep.
yes, you asked me once
why the bags under my eyes
weren’t dark but
the color of the night sky
over an industrial city
and I’ll tell you
now, my love,
I’ll tell you this,
you leave blood trails down your mouth
even in your sleep;
you could let your body leave
whatever it needs in the day,
but by night you waste
away and
I find myself wishing
it was never your own fault
especially in your
head.


the world is in the palm
of my hand when I
find you curled into the nooks
of my leather jacket,
eating what I had
left over for dinner last night.
and for the briefest of moments
I can forget that you’re
tattooed with a punctuation mark
or that you’re closer to
sleep than you are
to me
or that you’re only eating
because you feel weak today,
because I could probably find
enough time in today,


to show you how many dust clouds
caused microcosms
under your eyelids in the past
hour
and how many continents
are mapped in the sole comforts
of your knife-worn arm
and how losing that isn’t
just the end of your
milky white form, my Sandman;
it’s the end of all
miracles resting inside
your crippling form.


the world is only in the palm
of my hand when I
know you’ll hold it
and it would feel more warm
than cold - more skin than
bones.
you have enough.
you do enough.
you are enough.


--

for my friend.
you might hate me for this. and i'm sorry.
you're enough and beautiful and loved.

i love you.
stay. please.

reading done here.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconslipcast-chrysalism:
slipcast-chrysalism Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I cried. 

I have gotten tears in my eyes before over books/poetry/prose but i've only cried twice (including now). Clockwork princess and now this. 

It is just so perfect! You are amazing! :heart:
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2014  Student Writer
:heart: i still don't know what to say. you're such a beautiful person who keeps blessing me with her honest sincerity and as if that wasn't amazing enough, you're my best friend too. so it's just one BIG fuzzy bear directed to you.
Reply
:iconslipcast-chrysalism:
slipcast-chrysalism Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:tighthug: :heart:

I'm speechless too. .-.
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013  Student Writer
I love a great clincher and this is so powerful and haunting, my god.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Student Writer
you're absolutely wonderful for thinking that, I'm touched :heart: thank you!
Reply
:iconarinadadragonspeaker:
Wow. That was just...wow. Gave me the chills. Your friend is lucky to have you.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013  Student Writer
aw, thank you, love. she cried when i showed it to her. thank you. :heart:
Reply
:iconkmills95:
kmills95 Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is.....wow. Just wow.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013  Student Writer
:blushes: thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconkmills95:
kmills95 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Of course! So awful and sad, but...beautiful at the same time, you know? Very powerful.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013  Student Writer
i am so very flattered. your words mean a lot to me. <3
Reply
:iconkmills95:
kmills95 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
<3
Reply
:iconfreak-with-issues:
Freak-With-Issues Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Student General Artist
A fantastic piece that hits close to home and had me tearing up. Love this and I wish for the best for your friend and may he/she find only happiness!
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Student Writer
ah, thank you so much for the compliments and kind wishes. they mean a lot. :heart::heart:
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello! I just wanted to let you know that this lovely work of art has been featured in my new feature series, "This Week". You can view the journal here, and please do stop by and have a look at the other wonderful pieces that have been featured alongside yours.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Student Writer
ah, i have done so. thank you so much! :heart::heart:
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome!
Reply
:iconpoeknowsprose:
poeknowsprose Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013
This is absolutely beautiful. Very well done. 
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Student Writer
thank you so much! <3
Reply
:iconthe-solimnludic:
the-solimnludic Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
This is really, really sweet of you. If someone had done this for me. </3

Somehow I can't find it in myself to indulge in this poem a bit more, maybe I am afraid of being blown to bits. (A quick read was all I did..)

But I just wanted to say that this is a beautiful thing to do for them.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Student Writer
assume i did it for you! <3

oh gosh. you're just full of kind words! thank you so very much, love. :heart:
Reply
:iconthe-solimnludic:
the-solimnludic Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Awww. :heart:

Oh, it wasn't much.. you're very welcome!
Reply
:iconpetrichor-paradise:
Petrichor-Paradise Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013
Ah, gotta love spoken word. absolutely lovely. Smooth, beautiful, and somewhat chilling. An overall amazing and remarkable poem. 
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Student Writer
it's my absolute favourite. :heart: and thank you so very much, my dear. :love:
Reply
:iconpetrichor-paradise:
Petrichor-Paradise Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013
Of course. <3
Reply
:iconlawlessness45:
Lawlessness45 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Expressed in flowing script and beautiful prose. Lovely, if sad.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Student Writer
thank you so much! :love:
(also i love your avatar <3)
Reply
:iconlawlessness45:
Lawlessness45 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are welcome. Glad you my avatar. :) I thought it was pretty cool. :thumbsup: 
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
(I don't really have words, but from someone who is and has been on both sides of this, thank you.)
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Student Writer
you're so welcome, my dear. thank you just as much. :heart::heart:
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:heart:
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Student Writer
I love how the whole thing sounds like one big, long, compound sentence that's trending towards the run-on. Just beautiful.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Student Writer
ah, yes. long giant sentences are the only way i know how to do spoken word :ashamed:

thank you so very much! :huggle:
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Student Writer
s'all good.

You're welcome! :heart:
Reply
:iconmarmalade-kitten:
Marmalade-Kitten Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Student General Artist
This is wonderfully beautiful.

I can relate to a lot of it, which is painful
But proof your writing is perfection xx

Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Student Writer
my dear, thank you! <3

i'm so sorry :huggle: really.
you're too kind. :heart:
Reply
:iconraincloudundercover:
RainCloudUndercover Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Professional Artist
ah it s about an obese american alright
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Student Writer
Just here to let you know that there are such things as anorexia and bulimia, where, even when they are the right weigh/under weight, they see themselves as not perfect, still, and so they keep going. You might want to be a tad more sympathetic next time. Because they are real problems, and real people have them, and real people write about them.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Student Writer
thank you for saying this.
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome! Couldn't stand his ignorance.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Student Writer
is this your "honest comment that says the truth" coming out? you know nothing about her. please go find amusement to alleviate your boredom elsewhere.
Reply
:iconraincloudundercover:
RainCloudUndercover Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Professional Artist
who were you again? and what the fucks wrong with you people writing in small text i have to magnify the whole fucking window to be able to read it
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Student Writer
good. all the more reason for you to leave.
Reply
:iconraincloudundercover:
RainCloudUndercover Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Professional Artist
was that a comeback?
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Student Writer
it's a goodbye.
Reply
:icongadgetsmith:
Gadgetsmith Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Damn, girl, you're awesome!
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013  Student Writer
he had a history of wanting to have the last words. i blocked him before he could have those with me. :bow:
Reply
:iconco0kiem0nstr:
co0kiem0nstr Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is absolutely beautiful.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Student Writer
ah, thank you so much. :heart:
Reply
:iconlazynozzer:
lazynozzer Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013
Wow this poem is really deep and strong
Reply
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