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"there'll be days like this," my mama said, when you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises, when you step out of the phone booth and try to fly but the very people you want to save, are the ones standing on your cape, when your boots with fill with rain and you'll be up to your knees in disappointment but those are the very days you have all the more reason to say, "thank you." because there is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shore line, no matter how many times it is sent away."

things are different. they're happening. they're walking towards me and aren't strangling me the way they used to.

these are the facts:
- I can't save everyone, no matter how much I try or how much it kills me.
- I am never, ever going to give up on myself.
- I can make a difference; it'll show where it matters.
- the growth is so apparent now. it may not be getting better but it is changing. it's up to me what course this change takes.
- writing is an outlet, not a hobby or a profession for me. publishing is a bonus but it's not what I'm working towards. (that might change someday)
- things will disappoint me, but they'll also fill me with joy someday.
- I am not okay. I am not.
- but I will be okay.

so if this journal has a purpose, it's to say thank you to the people I haven't said it to or made it clear enough to. if you've ever felt what I've felt by reading what I've written or talked to me when I'm down or even wished me well, thank you. it means so much to me and know that I am doing the same for every one of you.

I hope you all are doing well. :heart:
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:iconarinadadragonspeaker:
I'm really, really glad that I popped into dA and got to read this. I'm happy for you, happy that things have started to take an upturn for you. :heart: Sorry I haven't been around commenting on your recent work, school/work is keeping me super busy right now...
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:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't even know what to say after reading this. :heart:
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:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Student Writer
:huggle:
Reply
:iconapplausejunkie:
ApplauseJunkie Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
And don't you ever forget there is at least one ocean kissing your shore with every breath, no matter how much that real ocean gets in the way.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Student Writer
fuck that real ocean :heart:
Reply
:iconadrolyn:
Adrolyn Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist

Thank you.

 

I'm doing pretty well, yes.

 

:tighthug:

Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Student Writer
any time <3

good! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:) :clap: among all the journals I've read, and all the people I've ever known, you're the most awe inspiring and the one I hold a lot of esteem for.

Its good to be your friend, and it felt good reading what you've written. Whenever you write, you're inspiring - be it here as a deviation or be it as a note.

You're a gem, and that's what matters.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Student Writer
oh wow, haha. I'm really...not though. I still thank you for holding me up there, but I'd much rather walk alongside. :heart:

too kind! (write to me, about things. I hope you're doing okay <3)
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You deserve the boost every now and then, of being reminded of why you're important.

Its needed.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2013  Student Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:)

Stay awesome. And have lots of sweets and chocolates and ice cream.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2013  Student Writer
my appetite never lets me :lol:
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:) Well... eat as much as you can.
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:iconkissthesunrise:
KissTheSunrise Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013
this is a cool journal.  i needed to read this tonight.  thanks m'dear ! :D
most journals have a purpose albeit some are of questionable value.  this one is you recognising things changing, things you can and can't do, admission of facts, plus your attitude towards your future.  i like your approach to grouping, or perhaps understanding is a better word, and solving things that are in the forefront of your mind and your life. 

could you please make a list of my life's issues into some kind of order ?  mine is scattered all over inside my brain. meh..  :heart:
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Student Writer
aw, I'm so glad!
exactly. yeah, I mentioned in my message how much grouping helps, it really, really does.

I'd love to, haha. whenever I catch you online! :tighthug:
(hope you're doing okay, 'love :heart:)
Reply
:iconkissthesunrise:
KissTheSunrise Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013
me too !!
it does help, when i can remember to do it. lol
ok, i'll take you up on that offer. if you catch me online. (;
i'm better thx.  but i still feel stuck in limbo.  i hate that feeling.  i'm a control freak.

hope you're ok too m'dear.  :hugs:

Reply
:iconladylincoln:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, darling. You do make a difference.

Keep shining. :heart:
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:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Student Writer
:tighthug:
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. So much. You don't know how much I needed this right now.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Student Writer
any. time. seriously. (I'm so glad it helped, my love :heart:)
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: :heart: :heart:
Reply
:iconroylapost:
roylapost Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013
If there is one thing that I'm most proud of, it's how you've grown over the years that I've known you.
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Student Writer
you were there for all of it :hug:
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love that quote you started off with! Where's that from?

And also, you are so frickin strong and I'm glad everything is starting to look better for you, and that you understand that even though you are not okay right now, you will be okay later. And that is huge!
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Student Writer
oh this is from Sarah Kay's poem "B". ^^ glad you like it!

:hug: thank you for all the kind words.
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I just read through all of her published work. She's amazing! Thanks for introducing me to her!
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Student Writer
you might like her performances even more <3
no problem! ^^
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